Mommy

  Every time I search the blogs for blogs to follow, I come across all these "Mommy blogs" and they all thank god many many times for all their blessings, and it all just makes me sick. I always wonder what goes on in those families when no one is looking, because no one can be that beautiful AND happy AND grateful AND perfect.  
  Then I sit down to write my own blog and find myself writing about my only child, whom I love so dearly. She's starting school in about a week and a half, and I admit I'm getting a bit misty.  But the thing is it doesn't seem like YESTERDAY that I brought her home from the hospital, it seems like a long ass time ago.  So much has happened since then, and I guess it went by kind of fast, but the experience has been such a full one that I'm actually a bit exhausted.  I'm so looking forward to my two and half hours a day to myself. :)
  One day when she was a baby I was watching Reno 911 while she screamed in my arms.  I can't remember enough about the episode to explain it, but someone was singing Amazing Grace and I remembered how soothing that song was.  I started singing it and Molly went right to sleep.  I sang it often to her going back and forth between that and Train In Vain by the Clash.  As a non believer, it is hard to know how to approach the subject of religion with a child, because I want her to make up her own mind about it someday.  As I sang that song to my infant, I started to understand how easy it would be to give credit to something other than myself for all the joy I felt.  Saying I'm lucky seems so hollow somehow.  And while I still can't take that leap of faith, I can say that life does seem rather magical sometimes.  And there, by the grace of god go I.