I haven't given up on breastfeeding, but I'm afraid poor little Linus has. He is just so hungry. I'm trying to decide what to best expend my energy on. He seems so much happier with a bit of formula in him. Or perhaps because the delivery system is faster. I don't know. It's also easier for me to get up with him at night if I don't have to spend an hour and a half feeding him each time.
I'm also concerned about the fatigue induced indifference that I feel towards him at times. He always looks so worried and I want so much to reassure him. But sometimes I just lay there and listen to him cry because I don't want to get up. I feel like I'm in a depression medication commercial. And I feel like I failed. Again. I failed at something I wanted to do. Except that I have found that I don't want to do it all the time. I'm just a big bag of contradictions I guess.
To end on a happier note: He's growing and he's started to coo and smile a little. He looks around a lot. At least now Molly can feed him sometimes. :)
I actually got about six hours of sleep last night! Yay! I'm having trouble mentally, emotionally, physically keeping up with how much this kid needs to eat. I have plenty of milk, but just not the energy. So, I've been supplementing. The upside, he sleeps so good. :0)
Here's a couple pics from Trick or Treating.
Poor little Linus peed his pants and got upset and had to quit trick or treating early. Then Daddy tried to feed him and he threw up. But Molly had a good time and got lots of candy.
Well, I feel like I'm ready to get back to work, but since someone likes to scream from midnight to five in the morning I don't really know how things are going to go. I will have to make time I guess. How do you take care of yourself and do the things that you want to do? Not that I don't want to take care of my new little bear of course. It just seems so time consuming right now.
This pregnancy was a lot harder on me than the last one too. As well as the labor and birth. That stubborn kid had to come out face up. Now I know it could have been worse and all, but I didn't enjoy having to stop pushing so that I could throw up. That was no fun. I don't think it was bad enough for PTSD or anything, but it was traumatic enough for me to accept that I'm definitely too old to do it again. :0) Two is plenty anyway. As I used to say when I didn't want to have children at all: There are 7 billion people on the planet, why do I need to make more?
On a completely different subject, I have to say that I am so glad that Qadafi is not in a position to do anymore harm. And I do understand that his last moments of life were probably much better lived than those of a lot of his victims. I really don't want to judge anyone their celebratory moment on this issue, because, frankly, any sense of mercy that guy might have received from me went away when I read about the attacks on the hospitals. So, I'm hardly one to be on my high horse this time. I understand the videos and the pictures and the displaying of his body. I really do. What I hate is my five-year-old daughter seeing those very same images on television and having to explain to her why it's kind of okay to be glad someone is dead. (I know, I know, turn the channel.) I don't understand why I have to keep looking at a gruesomely dead body. Why is it so important to show those graphic images on the news repeatedly?
Maybe it's because I recently gave birth, but isn't the belief in the sacredness of human life what separates us from people like Qadafi? His victims can have their moment, but should we perpetuate this love of gore and violence, even when it seems justified?
What do you think?
Well, here he is, in all of his perfection. :0)
While I've been a bit more productive the past week or so, I still have so much left to do. I also have a custom order to do for etsy! I'm so excited. I will be working on that this week, and putting my to do list off. I have things to clean and organize! So anyway, I think I may take a blogging break, since I have been anyway and I'm feeling a bit uninspired. Blah. If I post anything up on etsy, I may share a picture or two. But I think the next time I blog will be a picture of my brand new boy. :0)
So have fun everyone and I will be taking my blog maternity leave about three weeks early. Yay!
I am posting up a few gift sets on etsy this week.
$5.99 each, plus shipping. Check them out!
Oh, how I love September. And this year 80 degree weather with a cool chill in the air is especially luxurious. Yesterday we actually went to an arts festival at OCCC and walked around and I didn't even feel like puking! Yay for no heat!
Of course, Molly wanted her face painted and we couldn't really afford to get a funnel cake to share and get her face painted. So, when we got home...
Mike did her up real good! And she went around the rest of the day telling us that her face was painted. :D
